08/13/2014
It's my third day in Nevada, and my first day of IOP at Solutions
Recovery. I'm honestly not sure what to expect and it makes me sick to my
stomach thinking about everything. Today's topic is "Medical Aspects"
and it's going to be taught by Dr. Joseph Bradley. He is a guest speaker that will be coming in for
a couple more sessions throughout the 8-week program.
When I first get to IOP, I’m the only one there.
Not long after, a couple more people start coming in the room. By 11:45, there
is about 7 us including the IOP leader. We start out the session with a “check-in”.
Basically, we talk about what has happened in our lives since the last session
on Thursday the week before. It gives our leader a chance to monitor our
recovery and give us tasks to work on. Being that it was my first time, I just
had to share my story of why I was there in the first place. I was extremely
nervous. I’m not one to express my feelings verbally, so it took a lot in me to
confess to the things I had done. After I finished, a few people spoke up and
told me they were once in the same place I am right now and they would always
be there for me no matter what I did or chose to do. It was honestly really
assuring for me to hear that. It was nice to see that I wasn’t the only one
experiencing these things.
After check-in, we went to listen to Dr. Bradley
speak about the medical aspects of addiction. The center I am attending is for multiple
types of addiction, not just alcohol. He spoke about where in the brain addiction
is processed and how it affects us and our actions. He explained that our
brains are fully developed at age 4, and when we’re using, our brains are at
that 4 year old stage of “gotta have it now”. You want the drug/drink, and you
want it now. He talked about how people complain about meetings and not fitting
their schedule while in recovery, but when they’re using their drugs, they’ll
do anything and everything in their power to get their hands on that drug. He
explained to us that we need to have that mentality with treatment: gotta have
it NOW.
The entire time Dr. Bradley was talking, I felt
anxious. I was very fidgety and distracted. My hands were also very clammy. I
had never experienced symptoms like that in the past. I feel like it was hard
for me to sit there and think about the effects drinking had on me and my
brain. I’m at the early stages of recovery still, so I’m most likely having “withdrawal”
symptoms. Symptoms commonly found during alcoholism recovery. I feel like today
was my first real wake-up call that I might actually have a problem.
I’m still not comfortable talking about it
outside of IOP in person. I see the pain it causes the people around me that I
don’t express my thoughts and feelings, but I hope that IOP will help me to
open up and express my concerns for my problems. I’m still not fully believing
myself when I say, “Hello, my name is Alex, and I’m an alcoholic…”
But you know what they say, denial is a sign of
alcoholism…so we’ll see…
Dr. Joseph Bradley: http://www.theaddictiondoctor.com/
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